The Romans had meatballs in their cookbooks over a thousand years ago. Marinara’s origins go back almost three-hundred years. Two ingredients, separated by at least seven centuries, combined into the peak of Italian cuisine. As long as the Italy we’re talking about is in New York.

A staple of food science is using acid to break up a fatty meat. A meatball throws that principal out the window as it’s all lean, and usually a little dry. The umami from the tomatoes is destroyed as we stuff this sauce full of more sugar than should be manageable in a dessert.

So maybe stuffing this marinara meatball blend between two slices of bread and covering it in unnaturally preserved cheese is a microcosm of how we as humans have destroyed the natural order. But isn’t that the American way?